Why i say "life goes on" part 3

So it takes a week to get everyone here for the funeral (as i said before,there were alot of people who had to get into town). Her visitation was on Thursday June 23,2005. This would be the first time i saw her since leaving her at the Morgue. I was anxious to see how she looked..her 2 cosmetology teachers (Mrs.Nave and Mrs Deal) fixed her hair and i was so thankful to them for doing that because it seemed that they knew her inside and out. When we got there at around 11:30am (family only visitation) i was the first to go in.She was beautiful..they did such a good job on her and i was well pleased..I wiped some of the make-up off because i thought it was way too dark,and i sent home for some perfume because I can't stand the smell of a funeral home nor could i stand her smelling like one.(that's when i found out her favorite perfume was missing from her dad's house even though Monica and i had just seen in there when we went to get Harley's pants to take to the funeral home) so i had to get something else to spray her with. Anyways her visitation was supposed to be from 2pm-8pm...it ended up being from like 12pm-10pm and approximately 2500-3000 people came to visit (estimated by the Ralph Buckner Funeral Home)..and by the way, they were wonderful to us.. they really took care of our whole family. By the time the night was over I was so exhausted i couldn't hold my eyes open. It was wonderful to hear all the stories and tales that all of her friends had to tell me as they came through the line..it gave me such peace to know how she had touched each and every one of their lives in some form or fashion. June 24, 2005 was the day My daughter "Harley Davidson Bivens" was laid to rest. We had the funeral at our church, Philippi Baptist.I never thought of how that would later affect my life(that's another story). There were approximately 2000 in attendance for her funeral. The songs were beautiful and we had several pastors and her youth pastors who spoke on her behalf..it was a beautiful remembrance of her short life her on earth. At the end of the funeral they shut the casket and i lost it...totally lost it..i was so, so ok up until that point....they closed the casket on her...it was final. I would never see her again her on this earth...she was really gone..up until this point i still had part of her...now she was really, truly gone...Donnie had to practically carry me from the church..my legs would no longer hold me up. My baby was gone. What do i do from here??? It seemed to be the longest drive from the church to the cemetery (even though it was just a mile or so) ..following the Hurst that carried my daughter..my baby, my first born..now she was gone. At Mt Olive Cemetery we laid her to rest on a beautiful sunny day. they released the doves and again I lost it. There was just something about those doves and any one out there who has lost someone knows exactly what i am talking about. After the funeral I was given a zippered bag (which contained the thank you notes, cards from the flowers, her picture video and pamphlets on grief) and her memorial candle...a bag and a candle..I had never felt so alone, lost and empty as i did at this time...a candle and a bag, that didn't make sense to me.....at that moment i felt like telling them where they could stick their bag and candle.. this was crazy, it was insane..i gave them my daughter and they give me a candle and a zippered bag...it wasn't fair and i struggled with those feelings for a long time...i just couldn't believe that this was all i was left with all i went home with. I wanted my daughter back and i wanted her back then...right then...it wasn't fair I needed her...they could keep their candle and bag of stuff...just give me my daughter back.....but i went home empty handed.....not really...i still had Monica...another battle that i was dealing with. How do i comfort her?? She lost her sister, her best friend..her only sibling??? how do i help her deal with this?? i was so entangled in my own nasty web of grief that i really didn't know that anyone else existed. I needed to pull myself together for her, but how???